Hello All,
When I send out the Catalyst I normally can’t wait to see how you all respond. Some people will agree and others won’t. That’s ok because I don’t write the Catalyst for philosophical validation. I write because I want the subject to be talked about and discussed around the water cooler. I want to give you something to think about for weeks to come. Last week I wrote about keeping your personal business private. I can tell I struck a chord because I didn’t get my usual tithe of response emails. I take that to mean that I’m in the right choir singing the right song. Since I tapped a sensitive spot there’s only one thing to do: Talk about it again this week.
Back in the day, our heroes were allowed to be heroes because their privacy was protected. Sure a few insiders knew about certain bad behaviors/habits but the general public was oblivious. Now, sealed court testimony somehow gets leaked to the media, positive drug tests from years ago somehow resurface, and the only way to stop identity theft is to have bad credit. Previously, I stated that it would be wise to keep your business to yourself. I say that because we live in “The Snitch Era”. I know different people have a different definition of a snitch. Since I’m writing this we’ll use mine. To me, a snitch is someone who gains from telling other people’s personal information. A snitch tells the police about another criminal so that his punishment will get reduced (like in gangster movies). Sometimes snitches tell other people’s indiscretions to obnubilate* their own. Kobe Bryant snitched on Shaq concerning his infidelities when he himself got caught up. I’m no Kobe hater but it is what it is. Another example of snitching is celebrity blogs. You know what I’m talking about. Perez Hilton, Nicole Bitchie, and a host of other gossip artists make a living by spreading truth, half-truth, and no truths to the masses. All the salacious chitchat seems entertaining because there is no feeling like knowing something that should be secret. Of course, gossip is only entertaining when it’s not about you.
Living in “The Snitch Era” requires that you keep your affairs close to the chest. You hear “experts” claim that you shouldn’t hold things in. “They” say that if you keep your feelings bottled up they could have dire consequences. I’m here to tell you that you have the strength get past any heartbreak, job loss, or any other crisis that comes your way ON YOUR OWN. A lot of times it’s the people we trust the most that violate our privacy. We tell someone something to get the stress off our chest. The next thing you know 10 more people start giving you advice about a situation you only shared with one person.
You can never trust a snitch. Snitches only look out for themselves and will say anything to make themselves look better. They’ll sell out their partner for less jail time. They’ll steal a sex tape from a famous friend and put it online for the world to see. Even if you’re not a criminal or a celebrity you still have to worry about snitches. Snitches are everywhere. They’re the ones who tell your boss thatYOU were late when the BOTH of you went to lunch and came back together. They’re the ones who tell your friends that even though you BOTH were at the club last night, only YOU got drunk. I know what you’re thinking. “Dang, Rallo it sounds like you got some trifling friends.” Well, I have about as many as you do.
“When it comes to privacy and accountability, people always demand the former for themselves and the latter for everyone else.” - David Brin
Dream Big. Live Bigger.
The All-American
www.rallostyles.com
www.blestbabyproductions.com
http://thecatalystexperience.blogspot.com/
Rallostyles <--Follow Me on Twitter.com
*Word you’ve never heard…
obnubilate /ahb-NOO-buh-layt/ verb – to obscure or complicate
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Catalyst
Greetings,
In an age with blogs, TMZ, and camera phones it’s hard for celebrities to keep their personal business private. I know you’ve heard about Jon from the TLC show “Jon and Kate plus 8”. He was busted creeping on his wife and his photo was posted on the cover of magazines and all over the internet. I want to feel sorry for him but I can’t. If you expose your life to the public, how can you be upset when they see the naughty as well as the nice? Of course, you and I don’t have to worry about paparazzi. But there are still threats to our privacy; our biggest threat being our own big mouth.
If you’re like me you hate to be the subject of gossip. I learned over the years that the best way to keep your personal business inconspicuous is to not talk to anybody about it. It sounds simple but you’d be surprise the amount of people who don’t realize that no one can gossip about you if you don’t put your business on the street. Most of the time, we look to seek counsel from our friends, co-workers, and family when it comes to personal issues. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that. But you have to realize that telling somebody a discreet matter is like emailing naked pictures of yourself. Once it’s out there it’s out there forever. You may have said something in confidence but there is no guarantee that your confidant won’t tell someone else. Chances are they will spill the beans depending on how “juicy” the story is. It’s sad because most of the personal crises we deal with are often embarrassing and have long term effects on how others will view us if the truth were ever revealed. But you can’t keep your emotions bottled up. Certain situations are so troubling that you have to tell someone. Or do you?
Admittedly, I’m a severely private person. The only personal business I share is business that I don’t mind the whole world to know. Over the years I’ve shared many things about myself in these Catalysts. But trust and believe that I have certain secrets that are going to follow me to the grave. It’s not necessarily because I think that the truth would alter people’s opinion about me. It’s just none of your business (nothing personal). Sure it may be easy for me to work out my own problems without seeking counsel from family and friends. I read a lot of self help books which coincidently trains me to help myself. And if you would open a book or two you’d learn that you don’t have to seek advice on every single issue that arises in your life. If you gain wisdom through books and experience you’ll learn to be your own best counsel. And let’s be honest, most of us don’t listen to anybody anyway so telling our business is otiose*.
I know life can be stressful and sometimes venting our frustrations, crying on someone’s shoulder, or participating in a prayer group seems like the easiest way of relieving that tension. But you always have to be on guard about how much you share and to whom. Not everyone has your best interest in mind. Not everyone practices restraint when it comes to YOUR privacy. I know that some of you like being the talk of the town and all the drama it brings. You feel that if people are talking about you than you must be important. The reality is the less people know about you the more interesting you seem. Conversely, the more someone knows about you the less interested they become.
“Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.” – Ayn Rand
Dream Big. Live Bigger.
The All-American
http://www.rallostyles.com/
http://www.blestbabyproductions.com/
http://thecatalystexperience.blogspot.com/
Rallostyles <--Follow me on Twitter
*Word you’ve never heard…
otiose /OH-shee-ohss/ adj. - producing no useful result: futile
In an age with blogs, TMZ, and camera phones it’s hard for celebrities to keep their personal business private. I know you’ve heard about Jon from the TLC show “Jon and Kate plus 8”. He was busted creeping on his wife and his photo was posted on the cover of magazines and all over the internet. I want to feel sorry for him but I can’t. If you expose your life to the public, how can you be upset when they see the naughty as well as the nice? Of course, you and I don’t have to worry about paparazzi. But there are still threats to our privacy; our biggest threat being our own big mouth.
If you’re like me you hate to be the subject of gossip. I learned over the years that the best way to keep your personal business inconspicuous is to not talk to anybody about it. It sounds simple but you’d be surprise the amount of people who don’t realize that no one can gossip about you if you don’t put your business on the street. Most of the time, we look to seek counsel from our friends, co-workers, and family when it comes to personal issues. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that. But you have to realize that telling somebody a discreet matter is like emailing naked pictures of yourself. Once it’s out there it’s out there forever. You may have said something in confidence but there is no guarantee that your confidant won’t tell someone else. Chances are they will spill the beans depending on how “juicy” the story is. It’s sad because most of the personal crises we deal with are often embarrassing and have long term effects on how others will view us if the truth were ever revealed. But you can’t keep your emotions bottled up. Certain situations are so troubling that you have to tell someone. Or do you?
Admittedly, I’m a severely private person. The only personal business I share is business that I don’t mind the whole world to know. Over the years I’ve shared many things about myself in these Catalysts. But trust and believe that I have certain secrets that are going to follow me to the grave. It’s not necessarily because I think that the truth would alter people’s opinion about me. It’s just none of your business (nothing personal). Sure it may be easy for me to work out my own problems without seeking counsel from family and friends. I read a lot of self help books which coincidently trains me to help myself. And if you would open a book or two you’d learn that you don’t have to seek advice on every single issue that arises in your life. If you gain wisdom through books and experience you’ll learn to be your own best counsel. And let’s be honest, most of us don’t listen to anybody anyway so telling our business is otiose*.
I know life can be stressful and sometimes venting our frustrations, crying on someone’s shoulder, or participating in a prayer group seems like the easiest way of relieving that tension. But you always have to be on guard about how much you share and to whom. Not everyone has your best interest in mind. Not everyone practices restraint when it comes to YOUR privacy. I know that some of you like being the talk of the town and all the drama it brings. You feel that if people are talking about you than you must be important. The reality is the less people know about you the more interesting you seem. Conversely, the more someone knows about you the less interested they become.
“Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.” – Ayn Rand
Dream Big. Live Bigger.
The All-American
http://www.rallostyles.com/
http://www.blestbabyproductions.com/
http://thecatalystexperience.blogspot.com/
Rallostyles <--Follow me on Twitter
*Word you’ve never heard…
otiose /OH-shee-ohss/ adj. - producing no useful result: futile
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